How to Stop Shame Spirals
In this compelling episode, Liz delves into the complex emotion of shame, positioning it as a catalyst for personal growth. Through relatable stories, including professional setbacks, Liz guides listeners in navigating shame spirals, offering a practical step-by-step process. Differentiating shame from guilt, she emphasizes its deep personal nature and shares her triumph in transforming shame into a positive outcome. With a mix of storytelling, practical advice, and humor, Liz creates a compassionate space for self-reflection, leaving listeners with a powerful message: by alchemizing shame and embracing vulnerability, individuals can authentically navigate life's challenges and connect with their true selves.
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Episode Highlights:
Shame vs. Guilt:
Liz distinguishes between shame and guilt, emphasizing shame's personal and identity-centric nature. Guilt involves acknowledging a specific action, while shame is about feeling inherently bad or unworthy.
Shame in Relationships:
Liz, being an Enneagram type four in the heart triad, connects shame to the desire for love and connection. It often surfaces when feeling unloved, unappreciated, or invalidated in relationships.
Unveiling the Mask:
As part of personal growth, especially beyond the age of 25, Liz discusses the process of peeling back layers, removing masks, and addressing the core of shame. This vulnerability is crucial for authenticity.
Storytelling and Melodrama:
Liz shares her practice of detaching the narrative from shame by telling the story in a melodramatic way. This helps create space between the intense emotion and one's true self.
Navigating a Shameful Experience:
Liz details a recent experience where doubts about her coaching career triggered a shame spiral. She walks through the steps of creating a safe container, separating the narrative, and dealing with physical sensations.
Improv Techniques:
Drawing on improv wisdom, Liz introduces the concept of taking a "highway straight to hell" or a "rocket ship to the moon" when exploring narratives. This involves considering worst-case scenarios and ideal outcomes.
Integration and Self-Compassion:
The episode concludes with Liz highlighting the importance of integrating both extremes into one's truth. It's about acknowledging external perceptions while maintaining self-compassion and not abandoning one's true self.
Empowerment Through Vulnerability:
Liz encourages listeners to bring shame to the surface, name it, and claim their power. By doing so, individuals can empower themselves, repair their relationship with themselves, and live authentically.
Closing Thoughts: With a blend of storytelling, humor, and practical advice, Liz Newcomer transforms the podcast into a compassionate space for self-reflection. This episode serves as a valuable guide for listeners seeking to navigate shame, embrace vulnerability, and step into their authentic selves.
Resources:
BECOMING YOU, an 8-week Group Coaching experience to help you break up with bad habits and become the best version of you
