hi, i’m liz
1:1 ENNEAGRAM 4 W 3
3 / 5 SACRAL GENERATOR
LEO SUN, GEM MOON, CAP RISING
New Orleans, LA
BORN
NYC, Cali, France
LIVED
Actor, Drama Teacher, Server
JOBS
Sweaty Walk & Talk
in the Park
WAY I CONNECT
Early Mornings, Romantic Comedies, Nights In, Cheese & Nuts,
Cuddling with my Boys
I LOVE
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
~ Anaïs Nin
WORDS TO LIVE BY
my story
love. matters. most.
I grew up in New Orleans, the middle child of five siblings. I wanted to be everyone’s favorite and sought out a special connection with each of them. Basically, I knew how to people-please before I could even walk.
When I was 14, I was crossing a busy two-lane highway with my little brother when he was hit by a car and died. Andrew was just 9 years old. When I lost him, a part of me was buried by his side.
My coming of age was strained through a sieve of grief. Without warning, I was catapulted into an existence where I couldn’t unknow the excruciating truth about life.
One moment you can be at a pizza parlor, obnoxiously refusing to share your pepperoni slice with your baby brother. And the next moment you can be in a hospital kissing his cold blue lips, his body so utterly empty of him.
Our time here is fleeting. We can lose that which matters to us most. And Love. Matters. Most.
In the wake of Andrew’s passing, it became clear I would spend my “one wild and precious life” making relationships paramount. Terrified of loss and heartache, I held on a bit tighter. I stayed a little longer. And I cared a whole lot.
This pattern fortified my friendships, but withered my self-worth. It led me down a path of codependency and faulty boundaries. It wasn’t sustainable.
I realized if I wanted to show up for my loved ones,
I’d have to show up for myself first.
we don’t want perfect—we want real
In my 20s, I was an aspiring actress in New York City, but instead of treading the boards on Broadway, I was on the floor waiting tables. I convinced myself I was doing everything in my power to “make it,” but really I was trying to stuff away my shadow and be flawless (and thereby immune to rejection).
Red lips. Word perfect. On time. After countless auditions and not much to show for it, a casting director said, “That was perfect. You did everything right.” Then he paused...
“But we don’t want perfect. We want real.”
Perfectionism wasn’t working. Shaming myself with “shoulds” was a slippery slope. Beating myself up for not being enough wasn’t helping me achieve my dreams.
the enneagram helped me forgive myself
I was a student of self-discovery, a deep sea diver of the psyche. My self-help book collection was dogeared and combed through.
I stayed up late to dissect my best friend’s trauma, or spill out the details of my own. On an endless quest for self-improvement, I scheduled weekly appointments with my therapist, a holistic health counselor, my personal trainer.
I knew my sun, moon and rising signs, frequented a Tarot card reader and knew what the lines on my palm meant. I shared a birthday with Carl Jung, I documented my dreams and was learning how to embrace my shadow.
But in all that self-knowledge, I never encountered the path to self-forgiveness. I had to prove my worth.
Then, one day, invited by my mom, I found myself in my hometown New Orleans at an Enneagram workshop. When I read the description of a Type Four, the words on the page faded away and in their place was my reflection. Instead of mirroring back judgment, the eyes gazing at me were filled with compassion. Forgiveness.
This sigh of relief came over me. It was like looking at a map of all my habits, and suddenly I could make sense of everything.
When before I would bang my head against the wall in frustration, “Why, Liz? Why do you keep doing this?” Now, the answers I’d been searching for were there. “Because you thought your only choice was to play out your Type 4 pattern. THAT, my dearest Lizzie, is why you do what you do!”
There was SPACE between who I am and the things I did. For the first time, I realized, I don’t have to be a victim of my patterns. I have the freedom to CHOOSE.
then it brought me to my husband
The only thing I wanted more than being an actor was to be wildly in love, the kind you read about in a Jane Austen novel. Instead, I was edging up on 30 and dating a Magic-card-collecting, personal-hygiene-challenged, Peter Pan.
My romantic history was a predictable pattern of pendulum-swinging pedestals. I would alternate from amusingly entertaining the goofy good guy to forlornly chasing the brooding bad boy.
However, once I knew my Enneagram type, I recognized this pattern as optional. I realized if I truly wanted long-lasting love, I had to be willing to let go of the drama.
Six months later, I met my husband on the steps of a theatre after his performance in Pride and Prejudice. Oh, Universe, you sneaky little minx! ;)
I give (it and) the Enneagram 100% credit for helping me shift out of my unhealthy habits and into the arms of my dream partner.
when are you going to realize how amazing you are?
It was 2018, I was happily married and had just given birth to my youngest son. I got a call from my best friend, Simone. Her cancer had returned, she was closing her therapy practice to focus on treatment.
I choked back tears. With unfettered candor, she said, “What else am I gonna do? If it wasn’t this, I’d be doing something else.” This willingness to radically accept her circumstance and move forward with unwavering confidence was classic Mona.
It brought me back to our early days, emerging from a cab at Manhattan’s hottest club, mere babies dipped in makeup to hide our youth, as she strutted past dozens of night owls lined up to gain entrance.
She’d saddle up to the velvet rope and charm her way past the bouncer, despite being underage and not on the guest list. Beguiling in her strength of character, she took up space, her charm was undeniable.
At the end of that year, Simone was gone. Throughout her sickness, I couldn’t bring myself to imagine a world without her in it, and now I was forced to. She had this incredible gift of shifting the kaleidoscope of perspective with one thought, one word, one question. Click, your whole world would change.
She would look at me and say, “When are you going to realize how fucking amazing you are?” She didn’t apologize for herself or dim her light, she saw no value in selling yourself short in wasting your gifts or purpose.
For too long, my answer was, “When I finally prove it.” It took her death for me to realize, no one else can, or will, give you permission to be your most amazing self.
YOU get to decide who you are. And if you constantly believe you aren’t enough, well then, you’ll find the evidence to show for it. But, if you have the audacity to believe in your brilliance, then hell yeah, the world is your oyster.
Once I got out of my way and owned my self-worth? Some pretty big things shifted.
I appreciate my loved ones for who they are, not who I want them to be.
I take action towards my dreams instead of keeping them captive in a tower for fear of failure.
And most of all, I no longer abandon myself, when my shadow rears her ugly head, I can look at myself in the mirror and still see my beauty.
This path is certainly not all sunshine and roses.
It’s hard, messy, and uncomfortable, but, is it worth it. And now, it’s your turn!
“Be messy and complicated and afraid and show up anyway.”
official bio
ELIZABETH NEWCOMER is a Certified Enneagram Teacher and Coach, Human Design Practitioner, and Creative Entrepreneur who specializes in helping people break the cycle of self-abandonment and create their dream lives by being who they really are. She passionately guides her clients to shine their light, reflecting back their inherent wholeness, and inspiring them to own their worth.
With more than 10 years of experience as a coach and educator, she offers private and group coaching programs. She teaches team-building workshops on using the Enneagram as a tool to deepen self-awareness and strengthen relationships.
Elizabeth received a BFA with Honors from New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts and an MFA from University of California, San Diego, both in Theatre. She received her Enneagram Certification in 2013 with The Narrative Enneagram, the leading Enneagram Certificate program in the world. There, she served on the marketing team from 2014-2019. She completed her Human Design Practitioner Certification with Krystal Woods in 2023. For 8 years, she encouraged youth to build self-esteem as a classroom teacher at the top-rated private school, Isidore Newman School.
For over two decades, Liz has been telling stories in film and theatre as an actor, singer and director. She received a Screen Actors Guild Award for her appearance in Black Panther, and can be seen onscreen in Bottoms, Breaking News in Yuba County, The Visitor, Out of Blue, Life & Beth, NCIS: New Orleans, among others. She’s appeared Off-Broadway in a World Premiere play. With her husband, Michael, she runs a theatre company, Crescent City Stage, where she offers Scene Study classes. Her greatest role is mama to her two young boys, Valentine and Romeo.
Follow ME ON insta
